, , , , ,

If you’ve lived with a nagging sense of dread, you know how heavy it is.

Dread, the apprehension of what is certainly to come, drains the life out of you. It pulls on the corners of  your smile and stoops your shoulders.

As far as I can tell dread and worry are separate from each other.  Worry moves tomorrow’s trouble into today and makes you anxious. Worry makes you nervous.  Dread doesn’t pull tomorrow’s problems into today but it sees the trends. It knows the likely outcome (and how likely it is)  And it minces no words when it tells you the outlook is grim.  Dread dulls everything.

Cancer’s pending finality.

Certain financial ruin based on current trends.

The eventual end of a marriage or continued estrangement from a son or daughter.

Worry likes to blindside us and work us into a frenzy.  Dread may be quieter but it refuses to leave the room.

Worry stirs us up and then leaves for a time when we call it for what it is.  Dread is relentless; it pulls your brow into furrows a bit at a time, so slowly you hardly notice.

Worry is imagined. Possible but unlikely.  Dread is real. Granted, dread is future, but it’s very likely.

I’m not a worrier but I know dread, and it’s weighty.

When it leaves, it’s usually because something out of the ordinary changes all the formulas that have lead us to conclude “this outcome is nearly certain”.

God lifted a silent, pressing, persistent sense of dread from my life this week. Yesterday and today, actually.   I’m not turning cartwheels (now THAT would be funny!)    I’m not whooping and hollering.   I’m as quiet as I have been lately — but the dread is gone.

I want to remember this. Learn from it. See God’s hand in it.  And capture what I’m supposed to capture so I can help others.

More importantly, I want —if God will permit me— to be someone who helps people press through the dread, wait patiently for His answer, and recognize it when it arrives.  Who knows? Maybe He’ll let me be part of His solution in the lives of some I meet?

Because this is all so fresh, my thoughts are not fully developed, but I wanted to capture them here.  Let you know I noticed, and that I’m listening if you have perspective you’d like to add.  Thoughts on the dread you’ve encountered, and the relief that comes when God says  “enough”.

More to come…